February 2012
6 posts
95% of the time my ideas are good… In a bad way.
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They say the grass isn’t always greener on the other side. I used lighter...
– Zack (www.JustPlainZack.com)
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January 2012
32 posts
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I always try to distance myself from people who use ‘dat’ and...
– Zack Gonzalez
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I went out with a guy who once told me I didn’t need to drink to make myself...
– Chelsea Handler
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Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song,
A medley of extemporanea;
And love is a...
– Dorothy Parker, Not So Deep as a Well (1937), “Comment”
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If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it...
– Dorothy Parker
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Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
– Benjamin Franklin
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High school pictures should be outlawed from existence.
– Zack (Website)
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Whoever said looks don’t matter was seriously… ugly.
– Zack Gonzalez, When Life Hands You Lemons… Throw Them At People! (Buy the Book)
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If God wanted us to bend over he’d put diamonds on the floor.
– Joan Rivers
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"Slang"
What is it with people thinking they can come up with their own “slang.” They’re as creative as a red apple.
Just the other day I was on Facebook and I saw someone that I went to high school with post about the dinner that he made, saying that it was “fire.”
“So then your food burned,” I responded.
“No, no, no Zack. It’s slang. Fire...
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Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.
– Mark Twain
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SNEAK PEEK at 'Lemons...!'
When Life Hands You Lemons… Throw Them At People (SAMPLE)
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Zack’s snarky, twisted, smart-assed, teenaged view of the world and those...
– From the Foreword of When Life Hands You Lemons… Throw Them At People! (Coming July 2012)
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Texting-Lingo
The generations of texters and Tweeters just keep getting dumber and dumber. And we can only blame it on auto-correct for so long. If anything, auto-correct is saving us.
I recently came across this status update by someone on Facebook:
Just B/C ihave a boufriend doeant fuken mean ikant have guy frans like forreal guys now a days gunna get more open minded ugh!!
How stupid. Like forreal.
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Yes, I would say my comedy is grunge, evidenced by the fact my jokes have put an...
– Joel McHale
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I might repeat to myself slowly and soothingly, a list of quotations beautiful...
– Dorothy Parker
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WELCOME!
Welcome to the all new “When Life Hands You Lemons… Throw Them At People!” Blog! The blog open to anyone who’s tired of being a pawn to life’s evil little games and needs to vent.
This is where you can freely tell “Life” to Suck it! Whether it’s blogging about the lemons Life’s thrown at you, a suiting quote, a ridiculously perfect photo, or...